


a little jealousy

by jooheon_co



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: (naega anin), A little jealousy, Its Garbage Im Sorry, Late Night Work, Like super light, M/M, Sweet Ending, very light angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 16:18:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14336319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jooheon_co/pseuds/jooheon_co
Summary: when jooheon starts to talk more about another person, changkyun gets a little jealous.





	a little jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote all of this at like 3 am and its gushy and dumb but im gonna post it anyways because who knows maybe someone out there will like it

Changkyun and Jooheon had been together for a few months. They shared secret kisses in the bathroom and in hallways where no one else was, and gentle touches out of anyone’s line of sight. They shared with each other everything that was on their minds, from what they wanted for dinner to their deepest insecurities when they performed on stage. They were as close as two people could be.

Changkyun was in love. Jooheon made him feel like nothing else ever did. Not even music made him feel the way he felt when he looked at Jooheon, talked to Jooheon, kissed Jooheon, touched Jooheon. His chest contracted in the most blissful way. His cheeks went warm. His fingertips tingled. He could never get enough of the way the older rapper made him feel. It was like a drug. Changkyun was addicted to Jooheon and he never planned on giving him up.

He was sure that Jooheon felt the same, or at least almost the same. The way Jooheon would sometimes just look at him and smile made his heart flutter. Jooheon was oftentimes the one to initiate their secret kissing sessions whenever they could find privacy. He was always the one to pull him closer. He was the first one to say “I love you.”

Changkyun remembered vividly the day Jooheon told him he loved him for the first time.

They were hiding in the bathroom of their dorm. Hoseok, Kihyun, and Minhyuk had gone bowling, leaving the two boys there with Hyunwoo and Hyungwon. The latter had gone to take a nap while Hyunwoo was in his room watching something on his phone. Changkyun and Jooheon had snuck into the bathroom, the only door with a lock, to sit on the floor and be close to each other without the anxiety of getting caught by their groupmates.

It was after a good couple minutes of exchanging gentle kisses when Jooheon pulled back and just gazed at Changkyun for a few moments, his eyes soft yet unreadable. Changkyun flushed under his gaze.

“What are you thinking about, hyung?” he asked quietly, his voice just barely reaching above a whisper. Jooheon’s lips twitched, showing off his lovable dimples.

“You.” The older boy reached up and rested his palm against Changkyun’s cheek. He bit his lower lip before he spoke again, as sweet and smooth as honey, “I love you, Changkyun.”

Changkyun blinked, taken aback by the sudden confession, but a smile rose up slowly on his face. “I love you, Jooheonnie hyung.”

Jooheon grinned, his eyes disappearing as they do when he smiles. He pulled Changkyun in for another kiss, this one longer and sweeter than the ones prior. Changkyun all but melted against Jooheon, savoring the taste of his lips and the feeling of his hands on his waist.

Changkyun had never felt safer, more content, or comfortable in his entire life. Jooheon always made him feel good. All he had to do was think of Jooheon, and he could smile as bright as day. He loved Jooheon more than words could ever try to explain. He loved Jooheon as big as the sky, as deep as the sea, as endless as the universe.

And then Jooheon started to talk about Jackson Wang.

Yes, Jooheon had been friends with Jackson for a long time before they had gotten together. Changkyun always felt a little bit jealous when Jooheon would talk about Jackson, but he never acted on it, nor did Jooheon even talk about Jackson enough for it to be an issue.

However, at some point, Jooheon had started talking about the senior rapper more and more, and spending more and more time with him during their free time. It made Changkyun feel jealous. It started deep down in his chest, far enough where he could repress it and ignore it, but the more Jooheon talked about Jackson, the more the jealousy spread throughout his body, until it physically hurt every time the rapper’s name was mentioned. It hurt seeing the way Jooheon’s eyes sparkled when he talked about something funny Jackson did, or the cool rap he wrote. That’s how Jooheon was supposed to look at Changkyun. That’s how Jooheon was supposed to talk about _Changkyun_. Changkyun hated it. He hated how Jooheon talked about Jackson.

He felt like he was 16 years old. He shouldn’t have been getting so worked up over something so petty. His boyfriend had a friend. Jooheon loved all of his friends wholly and genuinely. Why didn’t Changkyun feel like this when Jooheon would talk to him about how handsome Hoseok is? Or how beautifully Kihyun sings? It was only when Jackson was mentioned did the young rapper feel fire deep within his being.

Changkyun didn’t want to feel this way. He didn’t want to cause a rift in his and Jooheon’s relationship. He adored Jooheon to no end, but this dark feeling of envy had started to become overwhelming and he didn’t know what to do.

“Hyung?” Changkyun asked one day, when they were sitting together alone in the living area, cuddled against each other on the couch. Jooheon, who had his arms comfortably around Changkyun and his head resting against his shoulder, hummed in response, sounding as if he were close to falling asleep. “Do you... Do you love me? Truly?”

Jooheon picked his head up to look at Changkyun with a confused expression, his eyebrows knitted together paired with a pout resting on his full lips. “What do you mean? Of course I do,” he replied easily, freeing one of his arms to take Changkyun’s hand in his own. “I love you more than anything. Why are you asking this?”

Changkyun, embarrassed, cast his gaze away from Jooheon, his face heating up. “I dunno, I... I’m being stupid, I guess.”

“What’s going on, baby?” Jooheon asked gently, scooting up to pulling Changkyun against his chest. He combed his fingers through the younger’s recently washed hair, letting the soft strands flop against his forehead. Changkyun sighed shakily at the touch.

“I-I just... I’m just feeling...”

Changkyun’s words caught in his throat. He felt silly. Clearly, Jooheon didn’t feel any less for him since they were together, given the way he was treating him right then. But, he couldn’t let go of the pain, buried deep in his body, whenever he heard Jooheon speak Jackson’s name.

“It’s okay, baby. Take your time.” Jooheon’s sweet voice helped to soothe Changkyun’s suddenly ragged breathing, and the younger boy took a calming breath.

If he wasn't honest with Jooheon, then he’d only brood forever until he exploded and everything would get out of hand. He didn’t want that.

“I’m feeling... jealous. I’m jealous of all the time you’re s-spending with... with J-Jackson.”

Changkyun exhaled with relief now that he finally stated what had been bothering him for weeks, but then a new anxiety filled his chest before he could even breath in again. He nervously glanced at Jooheon’s face, trying to gauge his reaction, but Jooheon’s expression was fairly unreadable.

“Oh,” he said quietly. “I... I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was giving him so much of my time.”

Instantly, Changkyun felt guilty. “No, no, I– I’m being stupid, really...” His voice trembled just slightly, and he refused to meet Jooheon’s eyes completely. “It’s just that... Recently, you’ve been talking about him more and more, and I just... It just hurt a little bit that you... you looked so, I d-don’t know... excited, I guess? When you talked about him...”

Jooheon stayed quiet, listening carefully to what Changkyun had to say. Changkyun felt like his insides were burning up inside of him.

“You just... always light up when you talk about him or when he’s m-mentioned and I...” Changkyun cursed the tears that welled up in his eyes, and the ball of emotion that gathered in his throat, constricting his speech. His voice grew hoarse. “It just made me feel j-jealous. I-I’m... I’m supposed to make you light up like that...”

“Oh, Changkyun,” Jooheon murmured, carefully wiping a stray tear that had streaked down the other’s cheek. “You do. You do make me light up. More than anyone else does.”

Changkyun’s lower lip wibbled pitifully and he pressed his face into Jooheon’s chest to hide his shame. Jooheon held him tighter and placed a gentle hand on the back of his neck.

“What you don’t see is how often I talk about you when you’re not around,” Jooheon spoke softly into the top of Changkyun’s head. “You don’t see how I ramble on endlessly about how much I admire you. How proud I am of you for how hard you work, for the group and for the fans. You don’t hear when I tell Jackson hyung that I can’t sleep at night sometimes because all I can think about is the sound of your voice when you talk, when you rap, when you sing... You don’t see when you’re looking away, that I’m staring at you from a distance, taking in every detail I possibly can, so I can think about them when I close my eyes.”

At this point, Changkyun had let his tears fall freely, most likely soaking poor Jooheon’s shirt. His shoulders shook with sobs that he fought to choke back. Jooheon swayed gently from side to side, placing little kisses to the crown of Changkyun’s head.

“You don’t see me... late at night... practically in tears over how much I truly and deeply adore you, Changkyun.” Jooheon’s voice held tears. Changkyun sniffled and peered up at Jooheon to see his eyes were red with unshed tears. “Changkyun, I’m sorry that I made you feel as if I don’t love you.”

“I was being childish,” Changkyun croaked in response, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm. “I’m sorry I even brought it up...”

“No, baby, no,” Jooheon hushed, taking Changkyun’s hands and bringing them to his lips. “I’d rather you talk to me about how your feeling than keeping it inside and bottling it up.”

Changkyun gave Jooheon a bashful smile, his gaze falling into his lap. Jooheon continued to plant kisses to Changkyun’s knuckles.

“I’ll spend more time with you during our free time,” he said. “I’m sorry I’ve been letting Jackson take up so much of it. He’s been wanting to catch up a lot recently, since it’s so hard to match up our schedules...”

“Jooheon, it’s okay,” Changkyun said quietly, meeting Jooheon’s eyes again with a shameful look. “I’m sorry that I got so insecure. You don’t have to stop spending time with him, he’s your friend.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jooheon chuckled, pulling Changkyun into a warm hug. “Besides, he’s been asking to hang out almost every chance he can get. I just wanna stay home, y’know?”

Changkyun giggled. “Are his members not giving him enough attention?”

“I guess not. Where’s Jinyoung when you need him?” Jooheon said with a snort. Then he looked down at Changkyun with a mischievous grin. “Jackson’s got a little crush on Jinyoung.”

“What? No way!”

“Totally. He gets so cute when he talks about him. You should see it. He’s like... a 14 year old.”

Changkyun and Jooheon shared a few laughs before they settled down again, Changkyun practically laying on top of Jooheon. He felt so relieved that it made him extra snuggly. He was so glad to have talked through it all with Jooheon, and he felt lucky Jooheon was as kind and understanding as he was.

“Hyung?” Changkyun murmured, his eyes starting to flutter shut. Crying had made him feel sleepy.

“Yes, my love?” Jooheon answered softly.

“I love you so much.”

“And I love you, baby.”

With a warm feeling in his chest and a content smile on his face, Changkyun snuggled into Jooheon’s chest and clung to his shirt loosely, finding security in the fabric. Jooheon kept his arms firmly around Changkyun’s torso and he rubbed his back slowly, and before he knew it, Changkyun was lulled to sleep by Jooheon’s gentle touch and the sound of his quiet breathing.

 

Weeks later, things had returned to the way they were. Jooheon still spoke of Jackson every now and again, but Changkyun didn’t ever feel a burning fire as strong as it once was in his chest at the sound of the older rapper’s name. He was content and confident in his relationship with Jooheon.

He knew he was still jealous, but that was okay. He was only human. But he trusted Jooheon more than anyone, and he knew Jooheon loved him just as much as he loved Jooheon. His jealousy was nothing compared to the feeling he got just from being close to Jooheon, late at night in the older’s bunk, sneaking in midnight cuddles and stealing kisses. Or when things escalated to a little more than just cuddles and kisses and Changkyun was dragged to the bathroom as quietly as possible so they could be alone together freely.

A little jealousy wasn’t going to ruin what they had. Their relationship was too strong for that.

Changkyun was happy.

**Author's Note:**

> twt: flirtljh
> 
> follow me to watch me say literally daily “i love jooheon wonho and changkyun”


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